#35; Brazilian Magic

Sunday 23rd August 2009; 12:56pm BST. Rubens Barrichello is sitting in his Brawn GP Formula 1 car in 3rd position ready for a hot, long race through the dockyard of the Spanish city of Valencia. 1 red light. 2. 3. 4. 5. Pause. GO.

2:05pm BST. Lewis Hamilton pits early from 1st place. He strolls down the pitlane at 100km/h, with the mechanics rushing out to get ready for him. He pulls into his pit box, stops, waits. Disaster! A new front right wheel isn’t there! Time gets wasted, and as it does, Barrichello jumps Hamilton and gets a nice long lead ahead of him.

2:39pm BST. Barrichello makes his way around the final lap of the concrete jungle. He turns left, right, down straights, round hairpins and over bridges. He takes the final left hander to end up on the pit straight and zooms down to take his first win in 5 years in Formula 1! He’s done it!!

Bliss. Simply bliss.

The last time Rubens had stepped on the illustrious top step of the podium was the Chinese Grand Prix of 2004. Nearly 5 years it had been, a break that had gone on far too long with a win long overdue for this much loved Formula 1 driver. For me personally, today’s win is amazingly bittersweet and sheer emotional excellence. All weekend, Barrichello was simply stunning in that Brawn GP and today he answered a lot of unfair critics. It’s been mentioned so many times that Rubens doesn’t have what it takes at this stage of his career to win or even challenge for the championship, and yet as I type this, he stands 2nd in the championship behind his team mate. Rubens still has it without a doubt.

As a long time Barrichello fan it’s extremely hard to conjure up the sheer emotion of seeing this wonderful man get that elusive win he so absolutely deserves. There have been so many moments in career where he has deserved better, and this year, he has everything he could ask for in a team. Even under Brawn’s ruling there have been ridiculous accusations of favouritism to Jenson Button yet it’s simply ridiculous. Barrichello is his own man and his own driver who won’t back down from expressing how he feels, but today and throughout his career he has continued to prove why he deserves to be remembered for more than his Grand Prix career length.

I don’t have much more to say because everything that needed to be said was done so out on track today. The strategy was perfect, the car was consistently fantastic and the drive was exactly what it needed to be. The reward of seeing Rubens with that lovingly gentle smile back on his face at the top of the podium, accompanied by his celebratory dance and ritualistic podium stumble were given a welcome return within the paddock with open arms. 281 grands prix, and it never ever gets old.

So congratulations Rubens!! Enjoy the experience and let’s hope it continues for more wins in the future. He may be in the twilight of his career now but he’s still one driver you should never, ever underestimate. Plus he’s a nice guy to boot - what are the chances?!

#34; Imitating Greatness yet Beyond Flattery

Music covers always get much discussion from those that love their songs. ‘A cover will never be as good as the original!’ people scream, without giving things even a glance. It’s far I suppose, when you’ve heard a legendary song that’s placed it’s own history in music only to see it rejuvenated 20 years later by some kids with no real talent, it is quite mind numbing at times. However, there are a few songs out there that absolutely rival their originals and I thought I’d share a few if that was OK with you!

Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits, 1980

Covered by The Killers in 2007

This is a unique one for me. Earlier this year, I would’ve laughed off the suggestion it comes close to the wonderful Dire Straits song. I have been won over so much by this though, and it is a truly remarkable cover. Before I even swapped sides of bias I could easily acknowledge that it was such a beautiful cover by The Killers but did it really match up to the original? For me, without a doubt I now see. This caused a little bit of a debate over at Sidepodcast a few months ago but as I say, I’ve been won over by it so much and it’s simply ignorant to now see how beautifully done this song is covered.  Even in this example at Abbey Road you can view to the right, the sheer wonder of the live performance, so immaculately performed, is a joy to behold.

Hurt by Nine Inch Nails,

1994
Covered by Johnny Cash in 2002

It kinda amazes me when I mention Johnny Cash’s interpretation of Hurt to people and then get the response ‘He covered it?’! It’s an utterly haunting cover though and even NIN themselves came to the conclusion that Cash made the song his own after this incredible bit of music. The video sees Cash in his final video before his passing on, and it’s just so poignant and haunting how he reflects back at his life in his dying days, I suppose, and it honestly gives me chills every time I hear it. It’s so utterly raw and it’s actually quite hard to explain just how powerful it is considering how late on in Cash’s life he sang this yet absolutely, as Nine inch Nails described, made it his own. A classic song for me in it’s own right.

 

All Along the Watchtower by Bob Dylan, 1967

Covered by the Jimi Hendrix Experience in 1968

Again I always seem to find a similar shock reaction when people discover that this is not a Jimi Hendrix song no matter how completely famous he is for this incredible piece of music. This is a Jimi Hendrix song no matter whatever way you look at it for me. Yes, Bob Dylan will forever be credited for the original song which is just above average to me, it’s really nothing special, but the sheer talent and absolutely unique style of music and sound Hendrix brought through his guitar and everything he did onstage with it just make this arguably one of the greatest bits of rock music of all time. And yet, it still wasn’t his song! The man was a legend, and only a man of his awesome talents could make this just as legendary.

 

Wonderwall by Oasis, 1995

Covered by Ryan Adams in 2001

I’ve no idea how well known this version is, but my god this is a hell of a cover of a hell of a song. I’ll admit freely that I’m not a huge fan of Oasis as a lot of their stuff isn’t to my tastes but Wonderwall is an excellent, excellent song. This, however, is an incredible cover that rivals the original for me. Ryan Adams takes it and slows it down beautifully to the levels of an acoustic guitar with immediate effect as the resulting sound is quite simply a sombre but sweet version of Wonderwall. It also sounds so much more genuine than the quite melodic original but still managed to keep all the emotion that was packed up in the Gallagher’s finest moment musically. Fantastic cover.

Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen, 1984

Covered by Jeff Buckley in 1994

After the previous years’ Christmas seeing a battle of the number ones between various covers of Hallelujah, I’m sure many of you know this song now reading this back and it was bound to be included. It’s simply impossible to ignore – this song has been part of my musical library for many years and it’s just remarkable how much talent, I feel, Buckley had. The video to the right shows him playing the song live in a studio and it’s just an awe inspiring bit of listening because it’s completely raw and completely stunning to behold without a doubt. This is way more famous than Cohen’s original without a doubt and whilst Mr Cohen no doubt got the ball rolling with an excellent original version of Hallelujah, there is simply no comparing any of the covers to Buckley’s incredible version.

Just a couple of special mentions to throw out there for you that didn’t quite make the mix – Imagine (John Lennon) covered by A Perfect Circle; a tragic view of a positive outlook, yet an incredible juxtaposition makes such a good cover – A Little Respect (Erasure) covered by Wheatus;  we all know Wheatus for Teenage Dirtbag but this for me was a far more solid song and a simply epic cover! Love it! - Can’t Take My Eyes Off You (Andy Williams) covered by Muse; yes it’s Muse but it’s an amazingly catchy cover that takes a romantic classic into the 21st century with a rockier edge that works far better than it really should. There are more but my mind can’t think of them at the moment annoyingly!!

And a bonus cover for your entertainment, the incredible Deep Sunshine covering that all-time classic… The Final Countdown by Europe!

It truly is the greatest cover of all time.

So what are your personal favourite cover songs? There’s so many to choose from of course but I’d love to hear what makes your ears tingle in terms of covers. Of course, this entry has got me wondering now about the worst covers…

If you follow me on Twitter and seen my recent messages since writing this, I think you’ll know what will be in that…

#33; The Great Gig On the Ground

As I sit here on my bed on a warm Thursday evening listening to some epic Pink Floyd, it’s got my mind wondering once more about the world history of music. What makes such a great band a great band? Bit of a strange sentence I know, and worded horrifically in such a way that puts my English Language educational studies to shame, but it’s just on my mind. Now I live for music, and music keeps me going along with other things every day. Of course I love my Muse (as if you didn’t realise that!) but for me it would honestly be a crime to say that Muse are my choice for the greatest band of all time. In fact I’d feel downright angry if, at this stage of their career, I even suggested a thing. Definitely not, but perhaps I could offer a few choices for me.

The band who stand out as the greatest band of all time are a certain progressive rock band you may have heard of known as Pink Floyd. Yeah no-ones heard of these guys what with their many many albums, legendary pieces of musical history, feuds and arguments galore and incredibly atmospheric live performances. Joking asides though, they are the epitome for me of what music should be heard as. Their soulful, deep and simply bone chilling songs at times, whether it be the more psychadelic stuff that makes of Dark Side of  the Moon or the two CD epic that is The Wall, just everything about what they have done gets my infinite respect and there is simply no words to conceive how much admiration I have for them. When they performed at live 8 for the final time in 2004, at the end of a long day in Hyde Park, every Pink Floyd fan simply sat or stood there in awe, simply in awe, at one of the most historic moments for me in music and something that our newer generation of stars will never create. It was simply awe inspiring, and it gives me such shame to not grow up in their era and simply experience their back catalogue and read their stories in the way that I do now. Their albums were varied and epic, their stories were wild, gut-wrenching, and gripping at times, their arguments frustrating, but they were Pink Floyd.

Concerning that 2005 performance at Live 8, which in general was a woeful day with the likes of Pete Doherty wasting time, I will admit to you know that I sat there almost in tears late at night in the darkness just staring, gobsmacked. They played a few songs, Breathe, Wish You Were Here, and obviously Comfortably Numb come to mind and I think Money was on the short setlist too, but with their short time, they made the entire day. They simply were the star attraction and the perfect way to go out. Sadly, with the death of Richard Wright a few years later and continually ongoing arguments between Gilmour and Waters, it’s such a shame that we’ll never see this epic creation of music perform on the stage again. A musical tragedy in fact.

I’ve been recommended by a friend to go check out Nick Mason’s autobiography on the events and views from within the Pink Floyd world themselves and it’s definitely the next book I’ll be reading in the next few weeks. There’s a story I’m sure you guys may know about reading that I wanted to share with you anyways because it always seems so fascinating to retell. Basically, the original Pink Floyd line-up saw the band headed by Syd Barrett rather than David Gilmour, and this is when the music they were producing came out with a more psychadelic sound to it. Now I forget the littler details but it was simply too much for Barrett, his indulgences into a rock lifestyle with the influences of drugs and drink simply send him into narcotic, crazed drugged up states, at times causing him to simply stop still in the middle of a gig and stare into the distance. The band members later spoke about these events broke who they knew of Syd Barrett, and he soon quit the band in the late 60’s and simply escaped from the limelight. For years and years he was never seen even in a media spotlight or the band themselves. Gilmour obviously took over from that, but the band years later wrote the song Shine on You Crazy Diamond, almost in memory of the person they knew that was Syd Barrett before his indulgences ruined him. When the band went into the studio to record the song in 1975, a bald man walked into the studio and Roger Waters confronted the stranger. he was bald, rough, almost broken looking. Little did the band know it was Syd Barrett, looking so changed that even Roger Waters couldn’t recognise him. It broke Waters down to tears and left an emotional hold on the song without a doubt, an eerie coincidence that some people may simply say is untrue but is just a part of their huge history that I can do no justice simply retelling.

Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire of childhood and stardom,
blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!
You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Threatened by shadows at night, and exposed in the light.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Well you wore out your welcome with random precision,
rode on the steel breeze.
Come on you raver, you seer of visions,
come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine!

Their live work was tremendous too, they had such an aura about them onstage that so little I feel just could not match based on what I have seen and watched. I agree with the viewpoint that it seems a little unfair of me to make these assumptions when I’m simply a 20 year old student watching back on stuff like Youtube, TV and DVDs but there is simply no other band that captivates me attention with their live work at the time and studio stuff such as Pink Floyd do. That incredible bit of film at Pompeii for example stands out once again in my memory, and it’s such a unique bit of footage to watch and yet at the same time, so utterly brilliant and a big recommendation to music lovers everywhere.

There are other bands that come into contention for the greatest band of all time – The Who, Led Zeppelin, and a few others that I’ll go into detail on a later entry. But for now, I simply wanted to do a bit of writing on these wonderful, wonderful men.

Nick Mason, David Gilmour, Roger Waters, Richard Wright and Syd Barrett,

Shine on you Crazy Diamonds.

#32; Maybe the Correct Answer was “No.”

As I mentioned in my previous blog entry, this week I gave a chance for the recent film of Yes Man, which is a comedy based off the same named book by Danny Wallace. I’ve held off on watching the film for a very, very long time as the book was an amazing read and I wondered just how potentially disappointing it would be to watch it. As you know by now, I have finally given to viewing the film. I actually went in with strangely high hopes before watching despite my literature reservations due to such inclusions as Jim Carrey, Zooey Deschanel, Terence Stamp and John Michael Higgins who have all produced wonderful pieces of film in their colourful histories.

However, this is NOT one of them. I was absolutely right to hold back.

Before I go into great detail, let me just clear one thing up in terms of how I viewed the film. Everything I speak of within the next few paragraphs comes from two perspectives – that of how good the film actually was as a film, and that of how well it compared to the book. Sadly, as I was expecting, it failed miserably in both areas for me. It probably seems exceptionally harsh but I can’t help but feel incredibly let down by the potential of the film based on how amusing, brilliant and interesting the book was. To be fair, the film definitely has it’s great moments – all of these moments unsurprisingly are because of lead Jim Carrey who once again proves how he probably is the best comic actor in the business(although his serious roles are top notch too!). If the film didn’t have Carrey, I would have given up halfway through.

In my previous post, I mentioned how much it annoyed me that Hollywood adaptations of books tend to be nothing like the original, and forget a vast amount of what makes the books so great. After watching Yes Man, it once again suffers seriously from this. It just bares such little, little resemblance to the book. Fair enough you can say it’s based off the book and shares the same principles but it just fails so miserably where Wallace’s adventure succeeded with such positivity. It’s a little frustrating in the two aspects I watched, the whole film just lacked something to really get it going and make it work. Sure it had a pretty strong cast, and some of them stood out at times. Where it gained in cast choices, it lacked in story direction. It was predictable, clichéd and just annoying at times to be quite honest with you with the main example concerning annoyances coming from the fact that when Carl (Carrey) said no to questions, his life turned disastrous in the click of a finger. This happens several times in the film, and it bugged me enough the first time it occurred.

The film took the Yes man idea the wrong way with how Wallace was trying to create such an ideology within his book. The thing is, one of the most enjoyable aspects of Wallace’s writing within Yes Man is that he doesn’t simply mention things he says Yes to, and move on. You get to hear everything he did, and as well as that, hear about it in the future and what the outcome of saying yes was, not to mention his thoughts at the time of being forced to say Yes in difficult situations. In comparison to this, the film barely does such a thing. Sure we see the odd after effect of saying Yes but often it simple pushed aside for the generic Hollywood storyline of a man wanting to be with a woman, messing it up, then making up. This generic piece of drivel overlooking the whole point of being the Yes Man really made the film suffer, and combined with a lot of weak scenes and weak characters that never actually existed in the book just made it too much of a poor combination for me to enjoy. It’s just a huge shame.

I hate being constantly negative though, and there are areas worth praising. The obvious area is going to be getting Jim Carrey to star as the lead character Carl Allen, a choice which made the film bearable to watch for 100 minutes. He was fantastic in his role, and even after all these years, he proved why he’s still one of Hollywood’s top actors. He provided scenes that conveyed a serious nature yet can instantly turn it about into a hilarious moment without being cheesy, patronising or stupid. One scene saw Allen (Carrey) and a co-worker in the film’s bank messing about with mimes, leading up to Carrey selotaping his face up to the terrifying yet mind numbingly funny look since Pete Burns’ last bit of plastic surgery. There were a few standout scenes in the film and, in what I’m sure is not a coincidence, all of them involved Carrey’s character. He was a breath of fresh air alongside Zooey Deschanel as the film’s love interest, who constantly came across as dull and monotone. I’m actually a fan of Deschanel but she did not bring her ball to the park with Yes Man whatsoever.

Ah well. I pondered the thought of it being a disappointment and I tried my hardest to enjoy it. Quite simply, it let me down where I was hoping for more. Alas… there was also one major highlight which had me clapping in joy from the sheer shock of it happening, and I just simply had to take a photo to show you guys:

Danny Wallace actually got a cameo!

Brilliant!!

However, the fact that this was the highlight of the film for me I think says it all.

#31; Giving into the Yes Man

Earlier this year I had the pleasure of reading a fantastic book written by author-come-radio-host-come-TV-presenter Danny Wallace entitled Yes Man. You may recognise the name Danny Wallace, you may not, as he has done the odd bit of television work most prolifically by creating his own country on his BBC show. Anyways, the book tells his 6 month journey simply of when he simply said ‘Yes’ to everything – vulgar internet offers, drug deals, visiting places around the world, the lot. It’s an absolutely fantastic read and constantly through the book I laughed, smirked, felt sorry and got shocked at all the various escapades that Wallace managed to get himself into. perhaps some were fabricated to create more entertainment for the book but nevertheless, it was a fantastic, fantastic read and a book I’d happy read again.

However, whilst reading the book, I found out from a friend that a film, funnily enough, called Yes Man, had been made and released starring a much loved actor of mine in Jim Carrey. See, I love my movies. I have a stupid amount of DVD’s on my shelf in my room and scattered about the house with some not even opened yet, but I absolutely love curling up to a film after a long, tough day and just entering my own little bubble. Hearing this news got much excitement in me because at the time, I was obviously having a splendidly fun time reading this book! So I went online to find this synopsis of the film over at IMDB…

“The banker Carl Allen is a lonely man with low self-esteem after his divorce with Stephanie, for whom he still yearns. He avoids his best friend Peter. He has a boring job, stalled in a bureaucratic position in the loan department of a bank; and he spends his spare time watching DVDs. When he meets by chance his former high school mate Nick, he is convinced to participate of a self-help program called "Yes Man" leaded by the guru Terrence Bundley. The basic principle of the program is to say "yes" to new situations, leaving the negativism aside. Carl misunderstands the concept and says "yes" to every question. While leaving the encounter, he helps a homeless man and in the end of the night he meets the gorgeous Allison that helps him with her scooter. His life completely changes with his new attitude.”
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1068680/plotsummary

Huh. See, this is what what book is like…

Wallace, a freelance radio producer for the BBC in London, takes three simple words uttered by a stranger on a bus-"say yes more"-as a challenge and says "yes" to everything for a year. He says "yes" to pamphleteers on the street, the credit card offers stuffing his mailbox and solicitations on the Internet. He attends meetings with a group that believes aliens built the pyramids in Egypt, says "yes" to every invitation to go out on the town and furthers his career by saying "yes" in meetings with executives.
http://www.amazon.com/Yes-Man-Danny-Wallace/dp/1416900667/

See, now this is what bothers me about Hollywood ‘adaptations’. They don’t adapt in some cases, they appear to change completely. The synopsis for the film really put me off seeing it once the book was over and done with, and what I knew up to the point where I found out about the film. I realise it may seem picky pointing out the changes where there may be some comparisons, albeit not direct comparisons of context, but I will admit reading the film’s synopsis bugged me. It bugged me a lot. It sounded so… American!! The book is quintessentially British, and I absolutely LOVE how utterly British it is in the way we act, because a lot of not only Wallace’s actions but his friends in the book are everything that we can relate to. The context he writes in, the things he talks about, the way life moved on and the way he creates his world within the book just feels like home! Yet everything I read about the film so far just seemed so… not Yes Man. Bah! I want the book damnit, not what this sounds like!

I’ll be honest. To this point, I have not seen the film. So yes, I am kind of criticising something I have not seen yet, you could say. It’s not arrogance towards the film, but a little bit of fear to be honest in watching something try to be something else that I vastly enjoyed but failing miserably. Whilst browsing through HMV this weekend, I noticed that Yes Man was out on DVD and currently in their sale for a measly price. I simply stared at it and wondered. I walked away soon, still wondering to myself whilst looking for other deals (I got Planes, Trains and Automobiles, woohoo!). The thing is, the more I browsed the epic collection within the store, seeing the film equivalent of Yes Man came quarrelling back into my thoughts, leaving me to wander back over to the stand. Standing there, I asked myself ‘It’s cheap… and on sale… Should I give it a go, see how it plays out?’.

It only seemed fair, considering the title, what my answer was… so I’ll get back to you lovely people on my thoughts and feelings very soon!

#30; Looking the Part – Top 5 F1 Liveries

If you’re an F1 fan, I’m sure you’ll agree that a car’s livery is mega important. Sure it has no technological advancement, no horsepower advantage, nothing like that, but it’s damned important I feel to a team. Seeing a livery you love, one that sticks out in your mind, something you remember for years to come shows just how important a livery can be for the identity of a team. Yes, it can all go horribly wrong and you can be remembered as an F1 team for all the wrong reasons, but never mind that. My top 5 liveries come from many different years, perhaps controversial to you, but I thought perhaps it would be nice to give out my list and explain what makes them so fantastically lovely to look at.

Starting at…

5) – Rothmans Williams 1996
 

How did anything relating to Jacques Villeneuve get in a top 5 of mine? Bizarre. Nevertheless, I had the pleasure of reminding myself how lovely the 1997 Williams was at Goodwood and it is simply a lovely car. In 1996 obviously performance wise it did the job for Damon Hill but what I love about the livery is the amount of colour it has but at the same time, none of them class to make it ugly to look at personally. The Rothmans brand is obviously relevant in making this so prominent in terms of the colours, but it really works so very well. Blue, white, gold and red? Yes please.

4) – Jordan Mugen-Honda 1998

Again, I feel incredibly wrong putting anything related to Eddie Jordan in my top 5 but look at this car. Just look at it. What the hell is that thing on the front nose? I haven’t a clue but my god, it is AWESOME. That’s all I can describe of the look of this car. It’s bright, it’s in your face, it’s simply shouts anger and everything and even though it wasn’t mildly impressive minus that insane race at Spa, I just loved the look of it. It’s nice and bright, for one, but with the contrasting black detail and various red related sponsors, it all just fits to make a lovely looking car I reckon. Why oh why did it have to be EJ’s though?

3) – Lotus Renault 1986

You definitely don’t need me to remind you who drove this beast of a car, and yet at the same time, brought out all the beauty within Formula 1 through his driving. Ayrton Senna is as much as a legend as this Lotus is, and visually, it’s incredible. A huge contrast to the other cars I have chosen, the livery simply has 2 colours – black and gold. Admittedly this was before I was born and what I know of the car comes from articles, images, and many, many videos of Formula 1 over the Lotus years but something about this particular car and this particular year just makes me love it. The contrasting look of a dark Black and a shimmering gold alongside each other just make it completely memorable.

 

2) – Jaguar Cosworth 2003
 

I’ll be honest. There were some absolutely gorgeous cars in 2003 – special mention to the Renault with that lovely blue and yellow flowing livery that just went so well both on the eyes and on the track, the Sauber Petronas with the blue and turquoise Red Bull sponsored livery, Honda’s Lucky Strike white and red beast that provided Jenson Button’s first ever pole, and a few others here and there. This Jaguar though, as average as it was performance wise, is an absolutely beauty. Just the racing green alone standing proud with that screaming Jaguar on the rear of the car being combined with the white and red streaks via the HSBC sponsorship just make me want to hug this car and tell it how good it looks. Will continue to stay in my good books for the visual loveliness of the livery for many years.

1) – Brawn GP 2009

Please don’t shout at me. Yes, I know you’re going to get to this number 1 and think ‘Oh come on!’ but I simply absolutely adore the Brawn livery. It shocked a lot of people at first when the team were finally revealed and that livery appeared on the Silverstone tests back in February, but my god, what a car. It’s a very bright livery with the main white theme obviously being present but it’s just something about those blindingly stunning yellow streaks with the black stroke around them that just made me fall in love with the Brawn’s visual design not long after I saw it for the first time. A lot of ‘fans’ of the team have come out of the woodwork since their success but how many of them, no doubt supporting simply for Jenson’s success, can say they absolutely adore this design? Yes, it is my favourite livery. Yes, I realise how controversial that may sound after 60 years of Formula 1 to be behind a 2009 livery. But… I simply refuse to ignore how much I love Brawn ’s livery. Simple. Elegant. Bright. Brawn.

So that’s my own top 5 liveries of F1 concerning what I know, what I’ve seen and what I watched. I’m sure lots of you are shouting at your computer screens right now asking why on earth I’ve chosen this and that, but I’d love to hear what you think about a top 5 or what you would choose. There’s so many options, so many possibilities, and so many opinions in the world that the combinations are endless!

Just as long as no one mentions the 1999 Winfield Williams car.

Strewth.

#29; Crime Alert – Pigeon Special

HALT CITIZEN!!Have you seen this pigeon recently wandering around supermarket backrooms recently?
Has a pigeon of a similar nature been seen wandering aimlessly?
Do you know what a pigeon is?

THEN YOU CAN HELP SOLVE THE BLOG-ENTRY STEALING CRIME THAT OCCURED TODAY AT APPROXIMATELY 09:50 HOURS WHATEVER TIMEZONE WE ARE IN NOW
I THINK IT IS BRITISH SUMMER TIME. WELL IT IS THE SUMMER.
PERHAPS NOT.
THAT IS NOT THE POINT HERE.

THIS PIGEON IS ACCUSED OF STEALING AN IDEA I WAS GOING TO BLOG ABOUT WHEN I THOUGHT ABOUT IT THIS MORNING
I KNOW THIS IS TRUE BECAUSE OF THIS TWITTER ENTRY POSTED ON THE MORNING OF SATURDAY
Morning. Have a wierd idea for a blog entry ill be working on over the day whilst at work. Pointless idea really, but more later.

WE CANNOT ALLOW PIGEONS TO SIMPLE WANDER OUR WORKPLACES THEN STEAL OUR IDEAS. IT’S NAUGHTY. AND I LIKE MY IDEAS.
ALTHOUGH HE WADDLED AROUND THE FLOOR REALLY FUNNILY, IT WAS QUITE CUTE. AND WE GAVE HIM SOME BREAD, HE NIBBLED ON IT.

BUT THAT IS NOT THAT POINT HERE.

Together we can make Pigeon Crime stop. Birds all over the country are committing crime in heinous forms, as can be seen in the following clip of a seagull stealing some Doritos from a shop in Scotland:

THIS BIRD CLEARLY DOES NOT REALISE THE EFFECTS OF HIS ACTIONS. HE DIDN’T EVEN STEAL THE NICE FLAVOUR. HE STOLE THE RUBBISH ONE.

YOU CAN HELP. IF YOU SEE PIGEON CRIME, TELL A FRIEND NOW. THEY WILL PROBABLY THINK YOU ARE MAD.
THANK YOU.
LUKE.